TA for Learners - 00.06 TA Game Theory

TA for Learners 

00.06 TA Game Theory

(This Blog is a Chapter in 'My Little TA Book')
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Understanding Games

Life is a roller coaster ride for many of us. Moments of peace and happiness are fleeting, few and far between. Sometimes we are judging, focusing on the wrong, abusing, saying unpalatable things about others. At other times we are wanting to help, assist, provide solace to others. At still other times we find ourselves wronged without reason. These patterns of events represent roles on the Drama Triangle called Persecutor(P), Rescuer(R) and Victim(V) Roles. These are mapped in the figure appearing below.

Participants move to these roles by adopting (-)CP, (-)NP, (-)AC functional ego states. (-)CP generates a Critical Parent or Punitive Parent. (-)NP generates a Rescuing Parent. (-)AC generates an unhealthy Adapted Child. On adopting these negative ego states the person concerned moves to adopt roles on Drama Triangle named Persecutor (P), Rescuer (R) and Victim (V) respectively.

Game starts with the initiator adopting a role. The initiator has taken up the Rescuer role in the figure appearing below. The other person adopts a complementing role. Interactions called ‘response’ ensue. Thereafter one of the two parties shifts his / her ego state. This is called switch. This forces the other party to switch his / her ego state as well. These present as shifts in their roles on the drama triangle. A lull follows. The game ends with the two parties moving out of the game engagement with their favourite racket feelings. Racket feelings are intense negative strokes.

Game is an unhealthy interactional dynamic. See figure at top. A initiates a game by adopting the Rescuer Role. B joins in by adopting the Victim Role. Their interaction ensues. At some point A shifts to Persecutor Role. This forces B to shift to Rescuer Role. Lull follows because both are surprised by the outcome of this shift. A exits the game with anger strokes and B exits the game feeling sorry for A.

The term Game is used to represent Psychological Games. They occur between people in close associations. It is an interpersonal dynamic that gets people to be engaged with each other outside Adult conscious awareness. Games generate intense strokes, they structure time, reinforce life position, provide pseudo-intimacy and further the life-long lasting script. They provide multi-benefits. Game engagements keep repeating though people wish they do not suffer its outcome.

Berne’s Formula G (Game Formula)

Eric Berne mapped games using Formula G. He says that whichever interpersonal dynamic incorporates all elements of this formula is a game, those that do not is not game.

Con is an action, behaviour, statement, remark or proposition that the initiator lets out as a hook. The other ‘player’ has a weak spot called ‘gimmick’. The ‘con’ - ‘gimmick’ combine results in a well meaning interaction or discussion - this constitutes the Response. One of the parties inadvertently pulls a ‘switch’. Switch represents a shift in the functional ego state. This forces the other to shift his / her own functional ego state. A lull follows. This phase is called the ‘crossup’. The participants either blame self or other or circumstances. This phase is marked by silence because both parties are nonplussed by the outcome. Physical separation and maintaining distance also accompanies this phase. Then parties move to internalise the favourite emotional overcharge. This emotional overcharge is called payoff. Game is defined as an interpersonal engagement outside Adult conscious awareness, comprised of an ongoing series of ulterior complementary transactions, having a switch and a crossup, proceeding to a predictable outcome called Payoff.

Reasons for ‘Playing’ Games

 (Advantages)

Game provide many benefits to their players. Some of them are the following:

1. They help to structure time.

2. They provide pseudo-intimacy.

3. They yield strokes.

4. They reinforce one’s life position.

5. They help maintain stability of one’s psychic system.

6. Milder games generate topics to gossip; These are first degree games.

7. Hard games cause hurt relationships which participants choose not to let others know; These are second degree games.

8. Very hard games result in physical or psychological hurt or injury, or broken relationships (divorce); These are third degree games; A technical name for this game type is tissue game.

9. They help players to further their script.

10. They lock people in love-hate relationships.

We need to understand that playing games are incidental to living life. It is not important to ask whether or not one plays games. It is of benefit when we find out what games we play. What benefits do the games we play reward us. Games become inevitable when we are frustrated trying to live happy, joyful, rewarding lives.

Identifying Games

Games can be identified by asking these questions.

l Who are the people with whom my interactions go awry.

l ‘What happens again and again I do not like’.

l Which of my actions, behaviours, mannerisms, interactions invite adverse attention of others.

l Which are my actions, behaviours, speaking styles, engagements that I staunchly justify, protect and promote as being right and appropriate.

l Who are the persons with whom my interactions leave traces of intense hurtful emotions.

l Which are some of the emotional and thinking lock-jams (rackets) that I experience after having a dialogue or discussion or debate with a significant another.

l Who are the persons with whom I am not able to pick up strings of interaction after hurtful interactions.

l Which are the interactions which start one way and end another way.

Payoff from Game Engagements

Games form segments of script. While script is played over a life time, games are played in the short / mid-term. The game payoff furthers script. Game players reap racket feelings. They are feelings of anger, hate, dislike, resentment, disgust; or feeling saddened, insulted, hurt, pained, neglected, isolated, blamed, ashamed, guilty, stay away and the like. They are marked by being intense, impacting, difficult to get rid of and difficult to forget.

Common Games

NIGYSOB: This is played by persons who are prone to pick on others, catching them on the wrong foot. A more severe version is putting up with another for a while before giving back in full measure usually with a broken relationship.

Kick Me: This is typical of a person who goes all out to help others. The others do not appreciate the help. To the contrary they keep criticizing. It hurts. As yet they don't stop.

Debtor: It is a game played by persons who like to live a stressful life being debt-ridden. Examples are persons who pick up more than one mortgage and spend their whole life paying off mortgages and loans.

Corner and Cornered: Corner is played by a person who finds every opportunity to put another person in a corner without any option to slip away. Cornered is played by a person who gets victimised at another's hands left with no way out.

Harried: Harried is played by a person who lands again and again in difficult jobs. Jobs which are challenging and has him seeped of energy. He suffers the turmoil without grumbling.

Ain't it Awful: This is played by a person who is gullible, falls in traps again and again. He then uses the situations to get the sympathy of others. Others are victimised in the process by playing 'let me help you'.

Schlemiel: It is a partnership between a racketeer and a spouse who at times is very critical and at other times overlooks the behaviour because telling the person is no use.

Rapo: The person offers himself to exploitation and then when the other is expectant of a reward, rebuffs him asking this: "You think I am gullible."

Uproar: This is played by persons of opposite sex to avoid intimacy. Such relationships are common between father and daughter, and between mother and son.

Cops and Robbers: People from the underworld, criminals, cheats who are skilled in breaking the law, play this game. They take pride in their skill secretly, and dare the law enforcers in finding them out.

Stupid: This is played by a person who is knowledgeable and skilled as yet makes a show unawarely when situation demands to be inexperienced or not knowing enough.

Wooden Leg: This person draws attention by putting up a face of incapacity, ineptitude, inability and the like unawarely. The other person makes several efforts and then gives up.

Courtroom: Daughter-in-law, Mother-in-law and Father-in-law take the roles of the accused, the lawyer and the judge. One or the other always loses ground.

Poor Me: The name suggests that the person tries his best, gives his best, puts in his best and as yet nobody gives credit, to the contrary finds reason for blaming him. Thereby the person experiences this payoff.

Game Groupings

Games are many and varied. They are played in different social settings. Based on these Berne has clubbed them into groupings. They are:

Life Games: Alcoholic, Debtor, Kick Me and NIGYSOB;

Marital Games: Cornered, Schlemiel, Cops and Robbers, Poor Me, Blemish, Courtroom, Harried, Frigid, See How Hard I Have Tried, If it Weren't for You;

Party Games: Ain't It Awful, Blemish, Schlemiel, Why Don't You, Yes But;

Sexual Games: Let's You and Him Fight, Rapo, Uproar;

Underworld Games: Cops and Robbers, Let's Pull a Fast One;

Consulting Room Games: I'm Only Trying to Help You, Psychiatry, Stupid, Wooden Leg;

Good Games: Happy to Help, They'll be Glad They Know Me;

Money Games: Debtor, Creditor, NIGYSOB, Try and Get Away With It;

Ending Games

Games can be ended or avoided by:

l Admitting being the cause or initiator;

l Not blaming the other for being the cause;

l Doing something to move to intimacy;

l By not justifying the reason for engaging in them;

l Going back to pre-switch and moving forward in a constructive manner;

l By putting the payoff in a drawer and then proceeding as if nothing happened;

l By having a pre-arranged understanding with spouse, friend, associate, partner about how to deal with such occurrences in a determined way;

l By generating a congenial, stroke abundant atmosphere;

Analysis of Games

Game analysis is an important step in treatment or in helping people or institutions to build healthy relationships.

Game Formula ‘G’, Drama Triangle, John James Formula, Transactional Game Analysis, Symbiotic Diagrams, Advantages Analysis are ways in which games are analysed.

(This Blog is a Chapter in 'My Little TA Book')

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